McDonalds sued over Happy Meal toy

Stuff.nz: Post-punk pioneers Devo say they are suing McDonald's in the US over a Happy Meal doll that sports the band's signature red flower pot hat.

Ooh, I love love love. Death to McDonald's.
I've never eaten at McDonald's. Well- only a kosher one. At least you know the beef is real, there's chicken in the nuggets and there is none of that nuclear powered cheese involved. I'm glad I've never eaten at a real McDonald's. They're money sucking bastards who have created nations of fat people who can only afford to live cheaply on shit food.
It makes me sad. It also makes me sad that a friend ordered some eggs for breakfast this morning and it came with fries. Totally unnecessary and we sent them back. I believe McDonald's is the precursor to this type of restaurant behaviour.

McDonald's has also become the owner of shitty brand behaviour. The brand logo, the colours, the character are all sacred to the brand. They cry blue murder to any other brand who impinges on their sacristy. But the time has come for retribution. Good on you Devo for taking a stand. Don't say you're taking a stand- take a stand. They've stolen from you and actually damaged what you stand for. McDonald's should be taught a lesson in the games they play.
Devo, see if you can bring down the whole freaking thing (even though they own Chipotle and I don't want them to die, I love a good Chipotle Fajita. Maccas really shouldn't own Chipotle- all the organic, carbon footprint philosophy doesn't fit with the brand platform).
McDonald's- you are an awful company, creating a culture of disgusting eating habits and terrible food/living expectations.

And those chips this morning. They stunk. Stunk like bad awful oil. You have destroyed realistic eating habits and made it so hard for people to try and even eat right. Take all your mates- Starbucks who have destroyed cafes and the barista; Dominos who sell plastic as food; Yum who injects hormones into everything, and then go jump in the lake.

Slightly Abusive Relationship With Sprint to Continue

AdAge: I Can Change It; Really, I Can.
Just a follow-up to my 1,000-word hissy fit about the pricing for Sprint's Instinct cellphone for a longtime customer.

i.e. Ken Wheaton bitches about Sprint

I don't think I'll ever get tired bitching about bad service from phone companies, or banks in this country.
I have to agree with Ken Wheaton. The profits that phone companies make are astronomical. If they took a cut and focused on making their customers satisfied with what they are paying for, they would arrive at a destination called Happy Land.
In Happy Land:

• Customers are happy
• So happy with no reason to change providers, they would ended up being with that provider for life and more than happy to pay them money for it. The provider would make just as much money as they did before, if not more because of customer retention.
  

Why is that so hard to believe? And why isn't anyone doing anything about it?
Imagine the traffic of customers jumping ship if just one company implemented changes I'm about to list below:

• Loyalty programs-
  
  • Status programs for Premium, mid level and devoted customers. Once customers reach status, they are eligible for various amounts of complimentary differentiated service.
    
  • Tracking great customers who pay their bills on time. Occasionally offer them free upgrades or small amounts of credit for their valued relationships
    
  • Create betterment teams who simply track and reward good customers, implement improvements and worry about keeping customers happy.
  • Know your customers - know their preferences, know what makes them happy, so that when you give freebies they actually value and appreciate it.
    
• Train and equip customer service representatives with enough common sense and know how to treat customers well. Happy representatives make good representatives and are intrinsic to the process.
  
• Stop wasting time by profusely saying Thank you to you customers. If you focused more time on actually making an account work instead of thanking a customer at every juncture you might get something done.
  And why are you thanking customers ALL the time anyway? Is it because you can't believe they are still sticking around after all the shit you've put them through? Sounds about right.
• When something bad happens go above and beyond. I don't understand why most service companies do not get this. If a problem has occurred and the company is at fault for the mistake- it is not good enough to just 'fix it'. The damage has been done, and if you really want to repair the damage, the customer needs some sort of compensation for the frustration and inconvenience.
  For companies like airlines or online travel bookings where there is no locked in contract or guarantee of return, giving a customer that extra bit of gratitude for their business, will make them return again. To just apologise, fix and move on is almost certainly guaranteed for a one-timer. By turning the negative situation into a positive you gain an advocate who will most certainly be an outspoken one.
  
• Be honest with customers- give them suitable solutions for their usage habits, just as Ken mentions in his article. Customers will respect your honesty if you're trying to give them the correct service, not just suck them dry.
• Remove cancellation fees with good faith that your service is good enough to never have to come to that. Think of it as punishment and retribution if there is a cancellation, found out why teh cancellation occurred and fix it.
• Throwing in something extra for no apparent reason goes a long way and makes a huge difference. Think of it this way- when a customer is thinking of leaving, this one or few instances of good will sway them to stay.
  
• Good, reasonable service speaks for itself. If you offer existing customers a great deal, others will come flocking
  

What are you still doing here?
Go and fix up your customer service department.

Rhapsody Music Store Will Challenge Apple's ITunes

Los Angeles Times: A new online music store from Rhapsody America -- a joint venture of RealNetworks and Viacom's MTV Networks -- will feature songs that aren't constrained by anti-copying measures in an effort to challenge the dominance of Apple's iTunes.

In May 2007, Apple broke new ground when it began selling music without copyright restrictions from EMI Group. But it hasn't been able to strike similar agreements with the other three major labels. Rhapsody will also announce that it will supply streaming music services and download stores on other Internet sites and services, such as Yahoo, MTV and popular social networking service iLike.

Rhapsody plans to charge 99 cents for a single and $9.99 for an album, the same pricing as iTunes. One of Rhapsody's selling points, however, is that customers will be able to listen to an entire song before purchasing it. ITunes gives customers a 30-second sample.

Hello a-bit-of-interesting, nice to meet you.
That's what I thought when I first read the summary above. Then I read the article.
I was a bit perplexed, not to mention full of questions about this-here scenario:

• Let's just put this on the table - Apple has the same DRM free music in place, but only if the music is from EMI. Other downloads from iTunes have restrictions on the amount of copies that can be made.
  
• If Amazon and Napster have the same copying-freedom as this Rhapsody thing will have, do they have an arrangement with all the other labels? Why is iTunes fcucked with only the EMI being DRM free? Where are the other peeps?
• To add further kick to the previous point, I looked up the Amazon and Napster T&Cs.
  The Amazon conditions state: "You may copy, store, transfer and burn the Digital Content only for your personal, non-commercial, entertainment use" No mention of a limit to the amount of copies you can make or a restriction to a music label.
  Napster goes a step further "Napster will not assign limits to the number of times MP3 Permanent Downloads purchased via Napster can be copyied, transferred or burned"
• And if Rhapsody is doing this, who has said yes, make our music copyable? Why hasn't iTunes fixed that yet if everyone else is doing it? Surely if these other kids can get music DRM-free from any label, then iTunes can too?
  

I'm confused.
Either Michelle Quinn left out a whole crapload of information to inflate and fluff up the Rhapsody product into this great new music provider. When, it's really the same as all the other shmos out there.
OR, she didn't do enough digging into finding out why iTunes is now behind the rest of the pack in the binning of the DRM.

Facebook Finally Fends Off ConnectU

New York Times, By Brad Stone: Facebook has finally closed the book on its long-running, multi-front legal battle with the rival college social network ConnectU — but not before a new question was raised about Facebook’s supposed $15 billion valuation.

Stupid Litigious country
Every American just looks for their meal ticket. I have no doubt that this thought process goes through many a person's mind:

"What minor bad thing can happen to me, that I can escalate into ridonculous proportions and make my fortune from?"

And it just makes everything affected by the cycle, so much more expensive.

Howard Winklevoss: The Connect-U founders' dad. If you looked this name up in the dictionary you would find the words money hungry, greedy, pushy and silly.

His kids actually don't look like a bunch of nerds which is surprising, and if:
- they have the brains they apparently have
- they understand Facebook as well as they do
- and know the weaknesses of the Facebook
They should have not wasted so much time with this lame case, and gone a step beyond the lame "connect-U" that no one has even seen. Instead they could have made a solution to the problem facing all social networks today- work out how to monetise it.
Then maybe, Howard Winklevoss wouldn't be known as a greedy conniving ass, but a smart man who encouraged his genii kids.

Digital shop cries foul over not receiving credit for prize-winning effort

Advertising Age: Michael Lebowitz, co-founder and CEO of Big Spaceship, is faulting the inflexible awards structure at the Cannes festival for his digital shop not being recognized for its work on BBDO, New York's, multiple prize-winning "Voyeur" campaign for HBO; he also believes BBDO could have been more generous in sharing the credit. However, BBDO creative chief David Lubars, in an e-mailed statement, said the Omnicom Group shop was "the source of the idea," and therefore is entitled to the honors.

Who cares about awards?! Self congratulatory buffoons. No thank you!
Awards have become garbage. Kind of like the Olympics. All this crazy excitement that doesn't really make sense and the only people who really have fun, are the participants.
The only drama in these ad awards are the stories of the backstabbing, who banged who, the collusion and stolen ideas.
It would make for good television, but the real 'hero', the work gets forgotten in the craziness.

So when someone cries foul, it just adds more nonchalance to an already "care factor zero" event.
I love how BBDO says that they're the source of the idea. in reality ideation is so evolutionary. An idea starts as a seed from one person and gets added and adapted to accommodate developments and improvements. With so many moving parts, it is unusual to attribute such things to one individual or even one organisation. Organisations aren't experts in all fields, they do need to consult in other areas of expertise .

And do you know at the Sydney 2000 Olympics 70,000 condoms for athletes went so fast that 20,000 more were ordered. Even these ran out before the Games ended. Now that's what I call a statistic!

Fun for today, because we all need it.

I was talking about to-do lists today. You know, climb Mount Everest, swim the English Channel, win an Oscar....

So I've just added that Jell-O fight with Angela to the list. She isn't too keen, but I'm sure there's some place in NYC that does it. It's NYC for crying out loud.
And after that I am doing THIS:

How Apple Killed Music

Red Herring: According to a new report from eMarketer, Apple's iPod is partly to blame for the collapse of the music industry, having set the tone for a "rats nest of restrictions and incompatibilities" that put the stop on music's growth. Paul Verna, the report's author, says that end-user confusion played a major role, as music fans were forced to sort out an explosion of confusing and incompatible formats, players, restrictions and retailers. Thus, Apple's iPod has been a "double-edged sword" for the industry, having contributed greatly to the splintering of the music biz with its closed ecosystem, Verna claims.

Meanwhile, digital rights management, which restricts the number of devices where users can copy their music in an attempt to stamp out music sharing, has played arguably the biggest role in hindering digital music sales. Apple popularized DRM by moving away from the MP3 file format to adopt its own FairPlay DRM standard.

Big music initially thought that digital downloads would make for plummeting CD sales, but it hasn't turned out that way, Red Herring points out, as digital revenues haven't come even close to making up for CD sales losses.

As I said last week "I didn't break my headset, it braked itself"
Last week my mic on my headset broke. I don't know how it happened, it just broke. But, as the King of the replacements said to me "it can't just break itself!"
Now I know how dumb it sounds and it correlates to the ineptitude of these musical gits.

Paul Verna says Apple is responsible for music's downfall because people are idiots and don't know how to use iTunes. He then goes on to suggest DRM is at fault.
DRM.
A conundrum.

DRM was meant to initiate further music sales because it prevents users from making multiple copies. We all told you it was a bad idea, but you wouldn't listen. Now you say it has prevented sales! Wow. I need a valium.

Idiots. Wake up to the idea that selling music as a product is dead. The labels themselves say that "for every single legal download there are 20 illegal ones" (source). What you can sell is a connection to a band, experiences around the band and the occasional T-shirt.

Theme of the day- change is here. Move with it or stay back in la la land.
This has always been my vision of la la land. Bessie, Fanny and the boys:

Kinky boots

I saw a nice movie last night- Kinky Boots. A nice little film, which I managed to relate back to my ad world.
The fella in the movie had to come to grips with his family's shoe factory going down the toilet. His dad, when still alive, had known this and kept on making shitty shoes to try and ignore that fact.
The son realised that to stay afloat, he would have to stop being complacent and change the product to roll with the times.
So he started making shoes that could handle the weight and motion of transvestites. That was the way he changed to meet the needs of the market.


Clever. Even based on a true story.


Now to really bring it back to reality
The ad game has changed. No more "is changing". Change has happened. People expect more they don't give a rat's about ads, they expect a brand to go above and beyond the status quo.
The only people who are still stuck in the old way are marketers and advertisers. I really think they just want to stay in la la land and ignore what's going on. It's easier doing what you know.

Of course answering to the change is scary, it's full of risk and there is no precedent. But it's better to attempt to change instead of carrying out the same old motions. And bloody hell, it's so much more fun!

I've worked at a few big agencies- they make these little 'departments' which are the custodians for all the 'new' and the 'change'. But it's all BS. It's just a front. A front to make the client happy that someone has shit under control. It's all talk and no action and made me want to slit my wrists every day that I went into the office.

It's so much nicer to know that I'm putting my money where my mouth is. So much nicer to know that I'm going with the flow instead of slamming my head against a brick wall every time I open my mouth.

Kmart CMO Quitting, Will Fight for Gay Marriage

AdAge.com: Kmart Senior VP-Chief Marketing Officer Bill Stewart is leaving the company to become a full-time volunteer on a campaign to protect gay marriage in California, the company said. The Kmart marketing team will report to Maureen McGuire, chief marketing officer of the chain's parent, Sears Holdings, until the company completes a search for a replacement.

Thank god, SOMEONE is on the case!
It was touch and go for a second, but bless our lucky stars that individuals like Bill Stewart are in existence.
I don't have a problem with gay marriage. Not at all. What I do have a problem with is AdAge's inability to mention whether Stewart is gay himself. They mention he is a member of the board of directors of the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation. Which could allude to his sexual preference, but do you need to be a homosexual to be on that board? I would think not.

And really, the entire time I was reading that article, I was looking for the "is he or isn't he?" I didn't give a crap about the KMart/Sears connection. Come on AdAge, give the people what they want! At least Google can step up to the plate. Delivers EVERY time!

Get your bitch-slap on

Since the ad noise going on is rather boring, I've been entertaining myself with three parts Twitter and one part Amanda Chapel.

This character, I've heard a lot about her, is apparently really a man. Why anyone would want to spend additional amounts of time on Twitter as a character (and a lot of time, morning, noon, night and all the time) , I do not know.
But she talks a lot of shit, ruffles a lot of feathers and is meant to be an authority on PR. She-he may well be an authority, I don't know.

But now that I took it upon my wings to go into battle with her, a lot of people have come out of the woodwork to say she is a dick and I should get her good.
I think this has been accomplished. I'm actually bored of it already. She isn't a very good sparring partner, more abusive. Nothing clever in the use of the 140 character tweet.
Here is the lame stream.

And what's more, I have been looking at this image on my netvibes for weeks:

You know what that looks like? Reminds me of a Gucci ad I once saw

Only when I zoomed in to the real image yesterday, did I see what it really was:


If the short saga wasn't good enough....I think she has banned me from being a follower! Even more amusing. Wisey 1. Chapel 0.

I grew up with tormenting and torturous older brothers and sisters. I learned how to give it just as well, if not better than I could take it. This piss-ant has given Amanda Chapel - a likely pasty, overweight, middle-aged man, more than the she-he bargained for!

Some pleasantness for today

The subtext of this post is: stop wasting resource, be friendly to your environment and realise that as an individual your contribution makes a difference.

Thanks Boing Boing

Interactive TV is more than a remote possibility

The New York Times: A new system from Boston-based Backchannel Media allows TV stations to air content with an interactive component, allowing viewers to essentially bookmark ads using their remote control. Currently, a handful of stations are experimenting with the Backchannel offering, including Hearst-Argyle Television stations WCVB in Boston and WMUR in Manchester, N.H., along with Media General station WJAR in Providence, R.I.

Ohhh, Not these goons!!
I've met these guys. The product is ridiculous. A storm in a teacup.
Let's pause for a moment....

BOOKMARK ADS

What?
Excuse me?
People are trying to get away from ads, and you have these men from Chelm, trying to shove it in your face.

I remember when I met them and the example that they used: "If you see a packet of chips and you click on it, they can send it to you."
What? Wtf? Why would I want to wait ten days for a bag of chips, which have become chip crumbs in transit, to arrive at my house?

It will work for one category though- apparel. Like the article mentions- click on an item of clothing worn in a TV show and find out where to buy it from. But that's not exactly "bookmarking an ad". Can I ask for a little more focus people?! Is that too much to ask?

Social networks struggle to monetize

The New York Times: While social networks have proven extremely adroit at attracting members, finding an effective way to advertise on this growing medium has so far proven an elusive goal. Analyst Debra Aho Williamson of eMarketer recently wrote, "The challenge is that all these new forms of advertising are more difficult to plan, measure and quantify than advertisers are used to, and that has impacted spending growth."

Just a couple of issues with mySpace and their new design

• "MySpace is being redesigned beginning Wednesday with a new home page, which will be less cluttered and more hospitable to advertising."
  Less cluttered and more hospitable to advertising? Hang on...who are you catering for? The end user or the advertiser? Or wait, am I asking a rhetorical and retarded question....methinks this could be the case...
• "But because MySpace commands a majority of all the money spent on social networking, it is viewed as a bellwether for the growing industry."
  Ok. And just because idiots spend millions of dollars on superbowl ads, it doesn't mean that they're great and everyone should do it. Just look at pleather. People wore that because it was popular, but it was a grave mistake. We're in a world of people following sheep, rather than using their brains.
• "Mr. Nathanson, the analyst, said that MySpace’s perceived shortfall had been frustrating. “We don’t have much conviction in the long-term ability to grow this business based on what we’ve seen lately,” he said."
  Because you're trying to fit a square peg in a round hole, dufus! Maybe if you adapted to the changing market, your long term ability to grow might change.

A pleather mistake:

Why is customer service so hard?

I really don't get it. I just don't.
In the last few weeks I've had some not so good product experiences , mostly technical (you're so shit Vista) and had to go through the the lovely customer support people.

Some were good. Others need help. But help in a really 'this isn't brain science' way. You've got your customer on the phone, you can go from a little casual relationship, to one where they are completely hooked on you as a brand of choice. Think of it this way, if I have a problem and you help me fix it, I know I can trust you, implicitly. No brainer. And there is no way I will transfer to another product within the same category.

Case 1
I bought some environmentally friendly cosmetics. As a reward for purchase I was awarded the choice to choose 5 samples. As it often occurs, they may not have my samples, but they will do the best to supplement those samples if they aren't available.
The Package arrives.
I have 3 of what I want, and 2 samples can go fuck themselves. Not the same category of product, totally useless and unnecessary for me. So I called the company and explained that:
a) they should leave a note of apology when they don't have your sample as a courtesy (which they have now implemented);
b) they should definitely try and supplement the sample with the same type of product eg cleanser with cleanser, soap with soap;
c) The sample reward is a great tool for appreciating your customer. If you offer that carrot, you need to completely deliver. When you can't meet that, you need to overcompensate. And it isn't a question of a company just throwing the freebie in for the sake of it. It is an additional ploy to keep your customer loyal. When they told me the freebie was just a throw away, I felt a little cheated and they nearly lost me. They couldn't believe I wanted samples of within the category I requested. They thought it was preposterous. In the end they sent me not 2 of what I wanted, but 10. At first it felt unnecessary, I really did only want the 2, but then I realised they saved me as a customer, because I was already thinking 'fuck 'em'

Case 2
I got a Canon printer. Vista screwed up the installing process of the printer. Canon helped me fix it. They were awesome and knew exactly what they were doing. Thanks Ted. I hope those shrimp on the barbie went well....it was a long conversation, there was waiting time, we needed small talk.

Case 3
I bought some Belkin software to hook up my printer through bluetooth. Again Vista screwed up what used to be a simple process. I call Belkin. This Indian girl answers, she has no idea what she is doing. She tells me to do something that doesn't exist, she says she has no supervisor then wants to transfer me to a supervisor. TOT.ALL.Y. whacked. She even let me uninstall something I wasn't meant to. Absolutely shithouse. I ask her for her name - it's Mary-Kate. Not only does she want to take me for a ride, she is an Indian who thinks she is an Olsen. I ended up being on the phone with this loser for an hour and a half "unplug the adapter, no plug it back it in". I will be having nightmares. In the meantime, I think I fixed it.

In Conclusion
There is some much opportunity. Don't be an asshole like those Dell customer service reps were. Use it. It's actually pretty rewarding (yes, I can be nice) and EASY.

Go read a good book because you're all boring

I don't know whether I'm slow on the uptake, but I picked up this book the other day.


A lovely little book about the shenanigans in BDAs. I'm about half way through and it's going good so far. The staff is totally obsessed with any gossip, any firings, hirings and possession of office furniture. People go around in circles to pass the time and it's making me reminisce about ad agency BS. I'm loving it.

It's good writing, none of that Peter Mayle crap- this guy has been nominated for some nice awards. A good read if you're looking for a book.

What the Creators of 'Sex and the City' Know About Marketing That You Don't

Viewpoint by Bonnie Fuller: Women Flocked to the Chick Flick Because They Relate to Characters That 'Could Be Me'
Lots has now been written about the tsunami of success that "Sex and the City" has had, with its blowout $55.7 million opening weekend -- the biggest box-office score for a chick flick. But what I think is really interesting is why women are dressing to the nines and flocking with droves of friends to see it and then whooping it up in the theaters.

Bonnie- You bitch! Could you have written "Warning: Spoiler"?? I haven't seen it yet!!
I'm waiting till all the hoopla dies down so I can see it by myself, with no annoying women dressed to the nines who are going to the most anti social activity of all- the movies! To see a bunch of more moronic women.


And what I know about marketing that you don't
It's B.S.
And the movie isn't really about marketing- it's about a show. A show that had great characters (even though a bit moronic), great writing, and like all shows, dropped off a little towards the end there.
What they did well here, was use that asset of love for the show, to cram in every marketing shtick they could think of. That's not good marketing, that's using their noggins to get as much dollar as possible pumped into the movie.

I wonder if we'll get to see the sequel when they're all grandmas?!

Nielsen: Death Of :30 Greatly Exaggerated

by Wayne Friedman: Reports of the death of the 30-second spot have been greatly exaggerated. Nielsen Co. says when viewers watch ads in prime time, the majority of messaging still comes in this tried-and-true package, accounting for 55% of all advertising units.

Nielsen: Bunch of morons
Just because advertisers are still buying commercials doesn't mean the :30 is dead. Just because they are still on TV doesn't mean they're dead either. And just because this country airs a ridiculous amount of advertising doesn't mean ad sales are at an all time high.

Analogy time: People can go out and buy the most ugly looking items of clothing because it's apparently a fad. But: if you ignore the fact that the item itself is ridiculous, or doesn't suit you, then you're going to have a bit of a problem.

The 30 second is dead because people, your audience, don't give a shit about it. People have changed so much so, that the impact of a 30 second is minimal. There are other ways to really shift and make a difference to people's lives, in accordance with their boredom of regular advertising. Think about surprising people by adding some unexpected value into their lives. Change how they perceive your brand by using your ad dollars into something more worthwhile. And for god sake, do not wear leggings and t-shirts. It looks fucking moronic.

Why Advertisers Want The New iPhone

New York Post: The New York Post says that Madison Avenue, in particular, is anxiously awaiting the arrival of Apple's new 3G iPhone, hoping the new handset will change the way people use their phones, enabling mobile marketing to finally come good on its promise. So drastically did the first iPhone change user consumption habits, that some advertisers even developed iPhone-specific campaigns. But in the end, the phone's speed proved to be prohibitively slow.
The upgrade should also come with GPS capability, unearthing a whole host of possibilities for location-based iPhone applications. As David Berkowitz, director of emerging media for digital marketing firm 360i, point out, "From the marketing side, more than the consumer side, there is the promise of location- based targeting. Marketers get really excited about this."

NO! NO! NO!
Haven't you idiots learned anything?!?!
The internet phone isn't a device for you to shmeer ad banners all over it. It's about functionality and utility. Mr Berkowitz begins to make a little sense but, I can just sense marketers taking that out of context and spamming individuals at every convenient (for them) juncture.

I hereby challenge you ad people- STOP! Take a look at what is really going on. Look at what people are doing and how they have changed and use that within the context of this potential iPhone. Match and combine the 2 together so people have a useful experience with your brand instead of you landing a shitty click or impression.

Everyone: Just calm down about Pork and Beans

1. It's not kosher.
2. It's old news. Ever seen this?
   




So you know, get it together, and calm the fuck down. Weezer is a dork band and completely unoriginal


3. You can't even share it! "Embedding disabled by user!". That's not very web 2.0 cool. I had to get an unofficial version
   
   


So basically, if you're getting excited over this, don't.
For the next band that does this, it's now simply known as a youTube highlight reel from the last few months.


4. A shout out to my friend Pablo J.

2 faced

You ever worked somewhere where your agency says "Yes, we work in new media. We know how to shake our money maker in the social media/conversational space", when really they're just all talk and it's a front. Clients feel safe that buzz words are buzzed and their agency is 'on the ball'. But all the agency cares about is the bottom line and being safe in the old ways of doing things.

Well...it may be a stretch of a demonstration, but these girls/girl/thing could epitomise it. Either way I'll stretch it. These girls are awesome and it deserves a showing.

Facebook, Google not exactly friends

The Washington Post: Google's plan to allow users to access multiple social networks under a single user ID hit a snag when Facebook announced it would not let members to sign in using Google's "Friend Connect" service, owing to privacy concerns. More generally, social networks are confronting the question of whether their value is in being open or walled off from the wider Web.

That's right Facebook, pull out the 'privacy' card when it suits you!
I have some cards too, you know. I've got the flirty card when I want something quick; the play dumb card when I need to get out of a sticky situation; the bitch card when I need to be unstoppable and the no idea card when I'm lazy or don't give a rat's ass.

But Facebook, the we care about privacy card!!!! A bit risky methinks. In the article it just sounds like you're dicking Google around and making a PR hoopla. You are bloody sneaky. Not the love hearts and tweeting birds image that I had of you. I'm beginning to feel like you have some Dr. Evil Style master plan.

Facebook you should be careful though. Don't be an upstart, flash your cards early and play in the grown ups' game. You should consider getting on Google's ship. Everyone knows that they're everybody's friend and you definitely don't want to rock that boat.

If you have a low end marketing ploy, don't ask me to do it- I'll sabotage it!

For the past few weeks I've been suffering visual and mental abuse through blogger outreach emails for a product called "Social Spark". Horrid stuff. Basically getting bloggers to endorse product for cash.

I went to check it out, just to see, just to look, and it is my worst nightmare.
"Social Spark: Premium Entry - Get paid to write sponsored blog content on a per post basis, or have advertisers pay per day to sponsor your blog."

They did nearly get me for a second with their "premium entry" bit, but no, I put myself together and came back to reality, realising it's all a ploy.

I hate fake. These days it's all about realness.
In the blog space, endorsement is about endorsement because you want to endorse, not because of an incentive. It's the 'X-factor' of the product and why it appeals to you, that makes it good. You can't buy that. And why, oh why, would you want to damage the blog-o-sphere? Even if you notate that it is a sponsored entry, that only means most individuals will gloss over it.

And as if you could ever trust me to do something like this. I would completely sabotage it. I wouldn't care if I got paid either way. It's probably such a nominal amount. Worse than child labour!

How ironic that the emails go straight to my junk folder. Good work Outlook, you get a gold star.

George Michael - Too Funky

'Sex/City' Poised To Become Era's 'Feel-Good' Movie

by Laurie Sullivan: Look for Americans to embrace and buy merchandise related to pre-Sept. 11 nostalgia across many product lines and services as a way to weather tough times, trend spotter Faith Popcorn says. Brand guru Robert Passikoff says the movie will cause a life in fashion sales, as did the TV show.

SATC develops cure for cancer, creates world peace and locates the ever elusive Osama bin Laden in addition to shoddy plot line.
That's what the headline should be. How did a show about 4 moronic women become such an uplifter of spirits and a world changer? How does it get so many people to open their wallets in a time of a hard hitting recession and astronomical petrol prices?
I'm flabbergasted. And actually no, I haven't seen the fil-m. I'm a little scared to sit in a cinema full of over excited women gasping and wetting themselves over ridiculous scenarios and costume changes.

The article goes on to mention several ways that it and other movies have impacted society so distinctly :

• "Sex and the City" is poised to become the new Depression Era feel-good movie that makes cash registers ring in shopping malls"
• "Fedora sales rise each time an "Indiana Jones" sequel is released"
• "Undershirt sales declined after men noticed that actor Clark Gable didn't wear one"
• " Look for Americans to embrace and buy merchandise related to pre-Sept. 11 nostalgia"

'oly crap. Pre Sept 11 nostalgia??? That's a bold statement and over sensationalised.
Laurie, Laurie... I know you wanted to finish the article with a bang, but come on! It's only a movie and I'm not sure I even know what that really means. Do people dance in streets? Or kiss random sailors? Should we maybe hold a SATC parade?... actually I don't think that would be a bad idea.

Marketing spiels by apparent experts, can often be embarrassing

i.e. Someone is about to get burned!

When you receive an email from your Ning group, it's more often than not, a spam attack!

"Hey friend,
When seeking the latest trends for your brand to follow, you should be checking out TrendPoo. TrendPoo is a user-generated directory that hooks you up with the best trendblogs to spot trends and inspirations in all genres- fashion, design, lifestyle, eco, tech, business / web and more.
Hope you find it useful, and if you do, please feel free to spread the word!
Also, if you’ve got any tips, don’t hesitate to forward me your insights.
Cheers"

It's not really called TrendPoo, I just called it that because that's what it feels like. You can see the poo here.

It's crafted so horribly. The worst is "dear Friend"! "Friend"!?! Don't you know my fucking name???? If you really want to connect, get rid of that horrid marketing speak, lose "you should be" and exchange it for my name (because you do have it, although I'm thinking 'dude' would also be ok).
If you want me to care, if you are wanting me to really take the time and like it, I want to feel special. You have a harder job because I really know how the system works and I expect more delight and surprise from ONE OF MY KIND. You actually used the phrase "user-generated" and the word "insights"! Seriously! You can't be serious!

Adding insult to injury, the horror continues when I got the identical garbage from your other Ning groups that you're also a member of. I doubt this person has graduated from an online marketing school. If they had, maybe they could have gotten something better like this:

"Hey dood,

How are you?? I hope work's not killing you like it is for me.
I just wanted you to know, a couple of mates and I put together this nice little site where you can get cool trend news in the one spot. Lovely! We decided it was time we made things a little easier for all.
We've got all the good stuff-fashion, design, lifestyle, eco, tech, business/web and more.

So come have a geezer AND if you have any suggestions or ways we could improve it to make it even better, feel free to let me know.
Oh- and you know what it's like, feel free to share the wealth!

Ta muchly"

Soft sell. No dramas and feels very personal.

I'm sorry author, but you really should know better.

Dell Moves To Protect Brand Name After Legal Ruling

by Laurie Sullivan: The Albany County (N.Y.) Supreme Court found that Dell deprived customers of technical support they either bought or were eligible for under warranty. The company failed to provide onsite repairs for contracts. They also required customers to wait for extended time on the phone without ultimately providing help.

Oh Dell. I think you've gone and done it now.
You were doing so well there for a second, but this is really pretty low. Leaving people hanging?! Basically telling people to get effed when they have a warranty?!! Wow....

The problem is most probably one of track back. The customer service staff have no care factor, demonstrated by their ass-hole-ness, and no pride in actually helping people. Which means they aren't happy with their jobs and ultimately filters back to the upper echelons.
You gotta have trickle down Dell. You need to make your support staff, who are your connection to the outside world, as happy as they can be. Little benefits do go a long way. Happy workers make good workers and if they care about the company they will ensure that the work they do for it is top notch. This is really customer service 101. I don't understand why it's so hard.

mmm...we really don't pay enough attention to the good things when we got 'em....

What Web users want

BBC: Web users are looking for very specific pieces of information, according to a report from Web usability expert Jakob Nielsen, and they don't show much patience for distractions. Nielsen said, "Web users have always been ruthless and now are even more so."

Somehow, understanding the internets has become close to, if not surpassing, brain surgery
'oly Shit!
Who would have thought? Faster internet speeds, uncluttered web environments and lowly click through rates all imply that people want what they want on the internet, when they want it, with no dallying allowed.
'oly Fuck!
AND the great Dr Nielsen mentions that search rules the web. Unbelievable.
I'm sure you'll find in next years report that filtering and appropriate tagging are just as, if not more important. The internet has demonstrated that team work and contribution equates to a better user environment.
Just remember you heard it here first and that I didn't need a PhD to work that one out.

Why the "mobile Internet" is a poor investment

Boing Boing: Joi Ito, a shrewd Japanese/American venture capitalist, has written a great little blog-post about why he's not so hot to invest in the "mobile Internet." Basically, when a heavily regulated, big stupid phone company controls your "internet," then your ability to innovate and do cool stuff and make money is entirely predicated on the regulator's or the stupid phone company's willingness to allow that to happen. So if you're making money by disrupting something that matters to the phone company or one of its entrenched partners, forget about it.

Yeah mobile companies. Stick that in your pie hole.
Mobile companies have a huge stranglehold on the growth of happy consumer voices across mobile phone airwaves. I cannot believe the ridiculousness of phone companies in the US and am still to decide who to choose as a supplier (it's been 8 months) based on the baseless lies I see in ad campaigns. I'm surprised that I'm surprised by their lies.

They make so much money and they have no problem generating huge profits either way. Why don't they just play nice and let everybody eat cake? Just as open platforms create better platforms, don't they realise that the happier the people are, the more they spend?

Teens open to giving their mobile digits to marketers

Los Angeles Times: Teens are receptive to receiving ads on their mobile phones, especially when the messages offer useful or entertaining information, along with the sales pitch, according to this article. "For them, responding to an ad that's relevant by sending a text or following a link on their phone is a logical brand engagement," said Nic Covey, director of insights at research firm Nielsen Mobile.

Hang on, Hang on. You can't blatantly twist a headline like that
What they really mean is that teens are open to receiving short, to the point information on their mobiles AND it has to be information that they want to know about.
Oh- should I mention that none of this really involves advertising? It all relates to magazines having mobile sites and mobile messaging/interactivity and, for some reason, PROMS! I'm sure there are banner ads involved, but really, no sane person wants a banner ad MMS! Don't insult me into trying to make me think that teens do either. P.S. don't give me BS about higher click through rates because most of those are mistakes due to poor navigational skills.

I don't understand why the media needs to twist and trick people into thinking that the old way of doing things must still permeate in the every day? Why? What's the point? Or are they trying to speak in a language that people are used to understanding? That doesn't really make sense, because they even confused me into thinking they were talking about something else.

Well, there was one small mention of teens receiving ACTUAL ads (the gaming and other stuff that brands have created for teens are good and brands should keep doing those. Yes. Applause). And what does the one kid say about the multitude of ad messaging he received when he signed up to something else:

"They were kind of stalking me," he said. "But then they stopped and I was glad."

How cute. But, pure genius.

Enjoy the prom

For Hall and Parker

"Your computer just got a whole lot sexier! This working mouse is shaped like a woman, and the "boobs" are waterball click buttons! The Sexy Mouse is compatible with Windows 2000/98/95, and includes left an right boobs - I mean buttons - scroll, and free zoom. Click away!"

Sex sells and these two love boobs..... .... ... although I think they missed a button.

Put any brand logo on the 'body' and you have a winner.

Link

Michael Eisner Sees Web's Future in Storytelling

SEATTLE (AdAge.com): Strong Content Also Needs Interactivity, Community. -- According to Michael Eisner, story-driven online content is the next big app. "YouTube is to the internet what a nickelodeon is to the movies. It's the preliminary instalment of what is to come," he said, speaking to advertisers and publishers at Microsoft's Advance '08 event. So what is to come? "Great, creative storytelling."

"YouTube is to the internet what a nickelodeon is to the movies" wtf does that even mean??
If they put that in a Mensa test no one would know what the hell they're talking about. I'm not sure I even understand what the point of the article is. Maybe it's just meant to confuse you into thinking it's something you don't understand. The article is full of words and phrases that have no meaning.
Synergy?
They go on about Synergy for a whole paragraph before they mention that there are all these divisions within Time Warner and no one talks to each other. Great. I'd say you better fix that shit up before you start saying nickelodeon is like YouTube!

Advertising as we knew it is doomed. When will people wake up??

I just filled out some survey for Harris Poll surveys.
It was for media peeps.
The questions were so wrong. They were trying to ascertain places that people were advertising in - eg mobile, online, tv blah blah; but there was no "other" option for things outside the box like custom made ad platforms. Again trying to fit an old methodology into a new dynamic.
It was very annoying. Very sad.
At the conclusion of the survey I got to see some results. This was the worst:

That 58.6% of media dinosaurs are the bane of this industry's future.
Snap out of it men! Because you are men- men in your neat little suits, with the handkerchief in the pocket and comb overs. I know you and your kind. The glory days are over. Embrace the challenges and stop ignoring reality.
And the change is definitely one with a coolness quotient. As John McCain said last night on The Daily Show - it's about reaching out to people as people. If he can embrace that as a politician, it really can't be that hard for advertisers.


oh...and thanks for the $20!

CEO Who Shared His Social Security Number In Ads Had ID Stolen

Charleston Gazette: Well, he asked for it. Literally. According to a class-action lawsuit filed in West Virginia last week, the CEO of ID theft prevention firm LifeLock-the same one who, in ubiquitous TV and print ads, displayed his Social Security number as a challenge to thieves who thought they could outwit his company's service-has had his ID stolen many, many times in the past year.
More than 20 driver's licenses have been issued in his name, and "his entire personal profile has been compromised to the extent that the birth date associated with his Social Security number is Nov. 2, 1940, which would [inaccurately] make Davis 67 years old," read the lawsuit.
The lawsuit alleges that the company is fraudulently claiming to be able to protect against crimes it cannot, as witnessed by the theft of Richard Todd Davis's identity.

Finally, the use of the word "literally" gets a rightful placement
Talk about really knowing how to screw up your business in the simplest way possible
What a retard.
I just feel more justified in my belief that anything companies declare in advertisements, is bogus. That burger you see in the commercial is never the one you would put down the hatch.
Why do they continue to purport their wares, spending millions of dollars on wasteful false advertising, when we all know the real truth?

Why do I continue to fight for this? This country is in a whirlpool of dogs chasing their own tails in categories ranging from petrol prices, environmental impact, healthcare, taxes, food prices and dvrs. It's never going to let up, it is a complete mess.

It all justifies that now is the time for the flying penis:


Video link via Sharenator.

Social media still searching for hit ad formula

Adweek: Social networks have adopted a trial-and-error strategy to develop ad practices that engage users, according to this article. Steve Jang, CMO of social network Imeem said, "We're branding the experience, not the content."

Hmmm, I wonder what's wrong with this picture?
AS the idiot savant piped up from the corner with the most obvious and crystal (as in clear) answer: Ads don't work on social networks, because people don't want to share or connect or engage with an ad. They want to be sociable and enjoy the voyeuristic nature that networks have to offer.

The problem with agencies and publishers today is that they miss that. They are trying to squash an old methodology into a new dynamic. It's not going to fit and maybe I should also just accept that in several aspects of my own life (take that as you like it).

This article is 3 pages long and it's just full of so much blah! I've also come to the conclusion that there is nothing in there. Maybe I should get excited and get ready for another idiot themed week.

"Sex" and marketing

AdAge: The summer movie "Sex and the City" based on the hit HBO show is proving to be a field day for marketing integrations. This article runs down the list of the film's marketing partners, detailing how brands appear in the movie. Advertising Age

It's a sitting duck
I've said it before and I'll say it again. It's gonna be a stinka, but everyone will be seeing it.
Good on these brands for taking the one thing that really has mass reach and using it.

Better than the Charlie Brown adult trumpet speak

The kind of reaction you get, when you walk into an agency these days and ask:
"So... what are you guys doing in the conversational arena? You got any social media initiatives in there? And are you thinking about your consumers as people? That's right I said people.
Huh?
Say what?"

Via flickr and Boing Boing

Starcom Breathes Oxygen Into Media Planning

ClickZ: Starcom Worldwide and its research and planning partner Strategic Oxygen are now using the digital channel to map engagement in cross-media campaigns.
Generally, such engagement mapping research focuses on digital media, but Strategic Oxygen builds media maps from roughly 40 online and offline media sources -- from TV to radio and RSS -- and measures how people connect those components together, says Michael Gale, Strategic Oxygen chief. "We track the way people consume complex information globally."
The purpose is to show advertisers how best to combine offline media with the online channel. "The more research and grounding we have...means we are not just looking at numbers, but understanding what's happening along the way," say Latha Sundaram, Starcom director.

Let's open with a song today, because if you're going to get it, what better way to get it than through song?

You know what Starcom, the title of the article is right. Breathing oxygen into something that's dead. Deader than a dead door nail. Deader than friendster!

The best part of the article are the nice buzz phrases which basically equate to same shit, different smell:

"Integrate or disintegrate" the need for companies to adopt new ways to speak to consumers. "Do it the way customers want it, and you're probably going to be successful,"
Nice one. I'd like to see that. I won't hold my breath

"Reverse osmosis" is the realization global leadership is not centered in the U.S. "An idea can truly generate anywhere in the world." Digital trends in particular start in Asia.
Yes, the world is not centered around the US. Actually more countries hate the US than appreciate it.

"Search is more than words" marks a need for a wider set of search marketing. "Just having the right word doesn't guarantee the right success," said Gale. "Some markets, forums, and blogs have become a secondary and interesting perspective on search, producing interactive journeys."
Yes, blogs, like this one, can be fairly intuitive.

Just don't spend too long looking at all the data, because the time it took you to discover these gems makes me worry at how long it will take you to perform a media buy.

I have a favourite Facebook app...who would have thunk it?!

Yes, it's true. I love my FB.
I especially love my Burn Alter Ego on FB.
It is this really great thing from Coke. And I mean really great. They work the shizz out of this Facebook app thing.

How it works is this (let's use bullets because I feel particularly lazy this evening)

• Burn is an energy drink from the Coca Cola
• The Burn app is an app where you arrange to go out all night with your other burn friends or randoms if you so wish
• The cool thing is you get to assign your outfit with your head on the body, your name (I'm debilicious) and choose your apartment decor. You can change this as often as you want. So it's your cooler than you alter ego.
  
• The even cooler thing is that the more you go out, the more stuff is unlocked for you to wear and redecorate your apartment with. So you keep coming back to unlock more and more stuff. This is probably a key element of why it is so fun and why I'm not yet bored.
  
• The best component is the blog and pictures from the day after your burn. The posts of what you did are always fucking crazy. I think I had some fun with a donkey one night and had a foam party in my pad another night. Another key element- being told your adventures and keeping the app fresh and appealing.
  
• The strangest thing may be going out with a random burn member and then that person may want to be Facebook friends after your evening. I've had a few of those. They weren't even put into FB purgatory with the other 36. They were ignored.

So do it. Go out with me one night. It is very fun.

Check out my pad and those legs! Sic!

Kick ass foam party. I think we had to turn away Beyonce and Jay-Z

Oz: Mars launch chocumentaries

B&T Australia: Mars use ‘chocumentaries’ for major Dove launch. Mars Snackfood will launch its biggest campaign of the year on Sunday to promote Dove chocolate, and has moved away from traditional confectionery advertising

OH MY GOD. Can we please call a spade, a spade!
This is not a step away from "traditional confectionery advertising", it's merely a new creative execution.
You can't convince yourself, Nicole McMillan, that you really are stepping away from the traditional. You're still doing TV ads and it clearly states it's the biggest campaign of the year for you guys. Which equates to spending a shitload on TV.

Ohh, Australia, you're so cute. You're almost there, I think you just need a bit more of the bullshit before you cross over to the other side.

Social networking wars

This is pretty good. And it gets really good when the other networks make an appearance- Friendster, then especially Second life and its avatar!!

This is dedicated to Georgie!

Via Current

Dove's 'Real Beauty' Pics Could Be Big Phonies

AdAge.com: Photo Retoucher Says He Improved Images in Controversial Campaign-- Dove's "real beauties" may not be so real after all, at least by the account of a renowned airbrush artist. In a May 12 profile in The New Yorker posted online, Pascal Dangin of New York's Box Studios is quoted as saying he extensively retouched photos used in the Campaign for Real Beauty, which, if true, could seriously undermine an effort that already has subjected Unilever to considerable consumer and activist backlash in recent months

Looks like the old ugly fat cat is out of the bag
How amusing. Really.
Before I even begin to laugh, I do acknowledge that the accidental arrangement of Ogilvy and Unilevers ad program changed the way people market today. Combining so many different social components into a movement rather than just selling a product, makes so much more sense in today's society.

The movement is not bogus- encouraging people to feel comfortable in their skin, giving young girls a chance to build their self esteem...it is a lovely initiative. And they tried and they took a massive leap. They moved a lot of those regular ad dollars to give something back to the people, over and above a tv program sponsorship. Just some things they couldn't pass up on- like the retouching and other BS.

It's a miracle they even got the whole campaign off the ground- with so many marketers sticking to what's safe and not even caring to venture out into this shit scary unknown, which to those in the know is the new and exciting.

We see it all the time- marketers going back to advertising of the 1940's- they need jingles, they need a face, they need a catchy slogan- and they ALWAYS need something old school to hold on to. i.e. The retouching.

Still the bottom line remains and no one has been able to answer that question definitively. Come on Unilever- cough up the results. If it really is successful, no one in the marketing world will give two shits about the retouching.

Speaking of which, apparently this is how it panned out:

Elephant man, big bum, peg leg, dog ugly, elongated arm and 3rd leg.

Click to enlarge!

Everything is so boring

Where's the controversy?
Where's the bullshit?

In the meantime, enjoy this.
Piggy and Peaches. You can't go wrong:

Nets Try to Get Fans to Go Where the Money Still Is: TV

AdAge: CW Will Use Contests to Lure Viewers to Couches Instead of Computers. The CW, the fledging network stitched together from the remains of UPN and the WB, is testing some new methods aimed at getting younger viewers to think of the boob tube -- not the computer screen -- as the place to go to see first-run fare

Networks, you really piss me off
A continuation from my previous post on the matter

Seriously. How dumb can you be??
Why would you want to end a good thing so you can focus all your energies on something with an end in sight?!
TV is on its last legs. DVRs will get cheaper, people will continue to miss ads and the value of the ad will continue to decrease. The only TV ad that's going anywhere is the one in a must see now, live, you cannot wait till tomorrow type show. Those are few and far between.

Instead of investing resources to find a solution to make the internet more lucrative (as that is where the future is, it does seem to be a no brainer), these gits are investing time and money into the stinker.

How could I forget the most important? It seems the networks did too...
PEOPLE!
People seem to want their TV online and if they are coming online, to the network site, isn't that a great place to entice them further? The possibilities are very exciting. And if you nut it out, you've got a great long term future worked out (that can keep adapting) before it's all too late.

Consumers Post To Web Due To Experience, Not Advertising

Karlene Lukovitz: Advertising and promotions, whether in traditional media or online, play only relatively small roles in driving consumers to post content about products and services. This is the somewhat humbling reality, according to survey data from Nielsen CGM/Homescan Buzzfacts.

This is a good little article
Very good.
I often see many agencies and ad execs trying to chuck in all these "sexy" and "Web 2.0" devices into an ad program, without really knowing what they're doing or what they mean.
I don't even know what "Web 2.0" means! It's just some buzzword that people throw around that sounds good and they use it because it's ambiguous and expect you to think it's ambiguous because they really have no fucking idea of what they are doing!

The biggest problem is that a lot of ad people forget that consumers are people. Why would anyone want to go all out for a brand?? There would have to be some pretty big motivation behind it- and the article is right- companies have to put in the hard yards with successful customer service (even reaching out when not needed) and a good quality product.

Do companies screw up because their thinking is backwards?
They have the outlook of

"How do we make consumers are spokespeople and get them to spread the good word?"

Instead of

"Our consumers have been so good to us. Why don't we service them more by shifting our ad dollars from wasteful TV campaigns, to creating platforms where consumers can receive even more value from us, for NOTHING"

Key takeaway from the article: "What are the keys to effectively leveraging CGM to build brand advocacy? Trust, authenticity, transparency, affirmation, listening and responsiveness"

I forsee calamity and suffering

The new Sex and the City movie is coming out soon.
We all know how successful the show was, even if towards the end there, the outfits became better than the writing.

But I know how this is going to pan out. I know how these decisions were made:

Studio execs: Let's make a Sex and the City movie. We're sure to make a bucketload. Women are just slaves to this show.

More studio execs: Yeah. Yeah. And it's not like we need a plot line or a real script, because people will see these 4 do anything as long as we have the Sex and the City title on it.

First Studio exec: Yeah, let's do it. We CAN'T go wrong!

And they're right. They won't go wrong. The movie will be so far fetched and the studio will make shitloads of money because women who love the Sex and the City ladies, will go in droves to see this thing.

It's actually like the 'Facebook drop'- you can't go out one night, anywhere, without hearing some tosser mention Facebook in a conversation. It used to be blogs. But now, you can't go anywhere without hearing some desperate woman say "Ohhhh, I can't wait to see the Sex and the City movie. It's going to be so fabulous."

Well I have news. It's not going to be fabulous, it's going to be horrendous and there is definitely one person who won't be seeing it till it's easily accessible on my television!

Tech execs try to sooth agency leaders

Adweek: Yahoo! President Sue Decker and Brian McAndrews, SVP, Microsoft Advertiser and Publisher Solutions, had a similar message for agency leaders gathered at the 4A's Leadership Conference: Agencies should not worry about large Web players muscling in on their turf. Decker said technology firms help traditional ad agencies by automating certain data-driven processes that "free up time and unleash the ability of the industry to go create great creative messages."

Thanks Sue. Thanks Brian. But I think you saving your own asses is the least of agency problems.
Pats on the back for everybody. So nice to see Yahoo and Microsoft band together in their little MicroHoo alliance.
Kind of a shame that it's all fluff, lollypop ladies and a mirage!

And guess what the lady Sue Decker said:

"We need to take the difficulty out of the process of finding the inventory, booking it, reconciling it, all sort of the boring parts of the industry -- we need to automate that. The reason we need to do that is to free up time and unleash the ability of the industry to go create great creative messages."

Hang on there Sue. What will happen to media buyers and planners? You just said you won't be taking anyones' turf.
And great creative messages? What? Where? And anyway, I don't want a 'great creative message'. I want an ad program that helps me as a consumer. Not some stupid 30 seconder, or a print ad I can't do nothing with.

Do I need to poke more holes?
I'm tired.

The whole thing reminds of the Bruno bait and switch; smoke and mirrors exercise.