Oprah Harpo boom boom

The Washington Post: Oprah Winfrey gets her OWN network
blah blah blah

Oh, Oprah, why do you have to heavily populate my life like a Starbucks on every corner?
This piece of news is everywhere. I haven't read one news page without it jumping out at me, uninvited.

I don't really get Oprah anyway. She clearly stands for stuff bubble and spice and all things nice but it/she gives me the heebie jeebies.
I mean what kind of sick individual has their photo on EVERY single cover of their magazine?? You don't see Elle* doing it.

It's not normal to be so "for the good of all people". I'm truly worried what wholesome shit will be on this channel.
How much self discovery can one person do? Isn't she tired yet? Isn't she exhausted of screaming in that weird baritone way when she gets all excited?

Well I'm sure I'll only have one use for her in the near future and that will be just like a Starbucks which always, ALWAYS pops up whenever I am need of the facilities (I don't really know what that means, but it's a nice tie in and I'm sure you can use your imagination).

*A very lame attempt at a joke which I will probably regret later.

You only need the first 5 seconds of this video to get the weird baritone thing