Thursday, May 29, 2008

Marketing spiels by apparent experts, can often be embarrassing

i.e. Someone is about to get burned!

When you receive an email from your Ning group, it's more often than not, a spam attack!

"Hey friend,
When seeking the latest trends for your brand to follow, you should be checking out TrendPoo. TrendPoo is a user-generated directory that hooks you up with the best trendblogs to spot trends and inspirations in all genres- fashion, design, lifestyle, eco, tech, business / web and more.
Hope you find it useful, and if you do, please feel free to spread the word!
Also, if you’ve got any tips, don’t hesitate to forward me your insights.

It's not really called TrendPoo, I just called it that because that's what it feels like. You can see the poo here.

It's crafted so horribly. The worst is "dear Friend"! "Friend"!?! Don't you know my fucking name???? If you really want to connect, get rid of that horrid marketing speak, lose "you should be" and exchange it for my name (because you do have it, although I'm thinking 'dude' would also be ok).
If you want me to care, if you are wanting me to really take the time and like it, I want to feel special. You have a harder job because I really know how the system works and I expect more delight and surprise from ONE OF MY KIND. You actually used the phrase "user-generated" and the word "insights"! Seriously! You can't be serious!

Adding insult to injury, the horror continues when I got the identical garbage from your other Ning groups that you're also a member of. I doubt this person has graduated from an online marketing school. If they had, maybe they could have gotten something better like this:

"Hey dood,

How are you?? I hope work's not killing you like it is for me.
I just wanted you to know, a couple of mates and I put together this nice little site where you can get cool trend news in the one spot. Lovely! We decided it was time we made things a little easier for all.
We've got all the good stuff-fashion, design, lifestyle, eco, tech, business/web and more.

So come have a geezer AND if you have any suggestions or ways we could improve it to make it even better, feel free to let me know.
Oh- and you know what it's like, feel free to share the wealth!

Ta muchly"

Soft sell. No dramas and feels very personal.

I'm sorry author, but you really should know better.


George Parker said...

Has anyone told you that you have a natural talent for writing? Not to mention "Naming." Trendpoo is fucking brilliant. But what about "HitlerPoo." I can see the visual possibilities now.

Julian Cole said...

I really like your take on giving it a human voice, it really makes a difference.